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Who Cares Bears

by Mark Jabo

care_grumpybear.jpg
“I so want to be on the Discovery Channel instead of Cartoon Network….”

With the appearance of yet another global warming news story treating projections as facts, I think it’s about time for a new bumper sticker:

Honk If You’re An Endangered Species

.

The story, which appeared over the weekend, notes:

Melting Arctic sea ice due to global warming could cut the polar bear population by two-thirds over the next 50 years, the US Geological Survey (USGS) said in a series of studies released Friday.

The key words here are “could” and “U.S. Geological Survey.”

I could sleep with Carmen Electra. As a matter of fact, my own studies project that will happen at about the same time there’s a two-thirds decline in the polar bear population.

It’s also worth noting that the USGS referred to in the article is the same U.S. Geological Survey that produced a survey in 2002 noting that “polar bear populations may now be near historic highs.”

As recently as 2004:

A Canadian Press Newswire story earlier this year reported that, in three Arctic villages, polar bears “are so abundant there’s a public safety issue.” Local polar bears reportedly increased from about 2,100 in 1997 to as many as 2,600 in 2004. Inuits wanted to kill more bears, which are “fearsome predators.”

Despite what the employees at Build-A-Bear might tell you, polar bears are not cute, cuddly friends dressed in bib overalls that play a musical tune when you squeeze them.

As the world’s largest land-based predator capable of swimming up to 62 miles at a clip, the polar bear has been around for nearly 100,000 years kicking ass and taking seal and Eskimo names.

I can name about 300 things that are more endangered than the polar bear including disco and Britney Spears’ career.


Does he look like he needs your help?

Let’s be rational about this. What we really need to do is take all the money that was going to go toward illegal immigration and build a big fence to keep the polar bears away from New York City.

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Posted in General on September 10th, 2007

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About Environmental Talk

Environmental Talk is a blog that attempts to do the impossible . . . which is to have a reasoned and nuanced approach to the science and issues surrounding global warming. At the same time, we are not above taking the occasional potshot at the extremists and posers on both sides of the topic.

As a global warming agnostic, blogger/moderator Mark Jabo attempts to come down squarely on the side of finding humor in what is, too often, a needlessly contentious topic.

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