Environmental Talk

“You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!”

It used to be if someone asked you if you wanted to buy a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge, they were not so subtly suggesting you might be just a little bit gullible.

When I heard there was a website where you could adopt pieces of the sky (in handy one square mile increments), I assumed it was for some kind of publicity stunt for an eco-friendly remake of The Producers. Only this time, instead of over-selling shares in Springtime for Hitler, the green equivalent of Bialystock and Bloom would auction off 150% of the sky. And hilarity would ensue.

It turns out the people at Adopt the Sky are serious.

In fairness, they’re not asking you to donate money, they’re asking you to sign a petition and looking to harvest a bunch of e-mail addresses.

I’m sure the folks at Adopt the Sky and the parent organization Earth Justice are nice, decent people. After all, they’re lawyers.

And they have a website with New Age music where you can see the bubble which represents your signature on their petition float among a sky filled with puffy white clouds and other like-minded bubbles.

I’m a long-time New York City resident, so I know I suffer from an acute case of excessive cynicism and occasional irritability. I just get tired of all these shiny, happy volunteers who approach you with the simplistic notion that all the evils in the world can be stamped out at no cost to anyone if we all just click our heels together three times and wish hard enough. And sign a petition. Oh, and don’t forget there’s a space for your e-mail address self-induced spam request right here….

I’m even more suspicious when the shiny, happy volunteers are fronting for a group of sue-happy lawyers.

“Do you want clean air and healthy children?”

Yes, strangely enough, I do.

But, you know what? I’d also like a world free of attorneys but I’m adult enough to realize there may be costs involved, so if it’s all the same to you, I’ll try to make a rational decision on facts as opposed to an emotional decision based on looking at a kid in an oxygen tent next to a picture of an industrial smokestack.

Or I’ll trade you for a signature on my petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide….

adopt a sky, The Producers, earth justice,