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Tend It Like Beckham

by Mark Jabo

sexy_soccer_asian.jpg
What’s the fun if you can’t use your hands?

I’ll be the first one to admit I don’t understand soccer. I’ll also be the first one to admit that I don’t understand a lot of the hysteria surrounding global warming.

So, you can imagine how confused I am about the latest invention that combines soccer and concern about global warming. ET’s favorite sports blog, With Leather, broke this story yesterday, so I’ve had a whole day to try to figure it out.

It seems someone has invented a soccer cleat that releases fertilizer into the pitch every time a player takes a step. Somehow, this is supposed to be better for the environment since it will help the grass grow after the players have chewed it up after 90 minutes of running around and not scoring.

It should also help offset the carbon footprint of 175,000 fans throwing burning seat cushions and empty sangria bottles at the end of every game.

About the only way to make soccer more interesting would be to play the first half with standard rules and fertilizer spikes and then play the second half with no rules and razor sharp aerating cleats.

It would be like soccer and bullfighting all wrapped up into one violent, foreign-speaking spectacle.

aerating_shoes.jpg
Last chance to bring in American viewers

At least then soccer might have a chance at getting picked up by Spike-TV.

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About Environmental Talk

Environmental Talk is a blog that attempts to do the impossible . . . which is to have a reasoned and nuanced approach to the science and issues surrounding global warming. At the same time, we are not above taking the occasional potshot at the extremists and posers on both sides of the topic.

As a global warming agnostic, blogger/moderator Mark Jabo attempts to come down squarely on the side of finding humor in what is, too often, a needlessly contentious topic.

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