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Okay, Now … Just Breathe

by Mark Jabo

3_yoga.jpg
Try to be a little flexible ….

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Did you think just because you bought all your food within a 75-foot radius of your house, wore clothes made out recycled water bottles and only went online when you could find a friend to share the same monitor that you’d be immune from the global warming police?

Think again, Planet Killer.

Over at Eco-Fabulous, they remind us no one is safe. No one.

As you chant your mantra, ponder the inter-connectedness of all living things and risk pulling a groin muscle, you should know that your yoga class is part of the climate change problem.

Wait, … what? How is my Warrior Pose at war with the Earth’s delicate temperature balance? Is there a glacier receding on my Mountain Posture or something?

Relax. It’s not you, it’s your equipment. That mat you’re using? Probably PVC, polyvinyl chloride. Sure, at $10.99 it’s cheap … but so is an illegal handgun.

And your mat is almost as deadly. You can tell by all the people who are just lying there, lifeless, in yoga class. They’re either dead or just meditating … but do we really know for sure? And do you really want to take that chance?

The solution? Make sure your yoga mat is made from biodegradable natural rubber.

Like all good green products it’s only seven times more expensive than the killer PVC mat you’re using now but you’d have to be a real downward facing dog to put a price on saving the planet for your children and your children’s mutated children.

I know you’re probably saying, “They’ll get my yoga mat when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.” Or maybe you’re one of those people who think that if yoga mats are illegal, then only Buddhists will have yoga mats.

It’s time to move beyond simple bumper sticker or henna tattoo slogans.

Statistics don’t lie. If everyone in the country who stuck with yoga for more than six months threw out their mats, it would be enough to cover the lounge area of your local Starbucks.

Imagine the ecological carnage. We could see 30-50% of all coffee house posers become extinct over the next 50 years.

Before you exhale, you should know it’s not just your mat that’s the problem.

What did you think those foam support blocks are made from? That’s right, Tantric Dan — old dinosaurs, black gold … oil, that is.

You’ll want to go with an environmentally friendly block made of bamboo.

This way you’ll be purchasing a carbon offset for when the fire department comes with the jaws of life to extricate you from the lotus position.

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Hey, there’s a Blog Carnival going on over at The Gonzo Papers. Stop by, check out the sideshow and give Kilroy a high-five on his second blogiversary.

Huey needs your help!Huey needs your help!

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3 Responses to “ Okay, Now … Just Breathe

  1. Jolly Green Girl Says:

    Geez.. you just had to go there.. didn’t you… ragging on the peace loving chanting yogis..

    I think I do have one of those toxic pvc mats and I ain’t giving it up.. do you know how many of hours of sweat is on that thing? I mean it exudes positive stinking energy :)

    Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Gobble Gobble

  2. Mark Jabo Says:

    hehe! No one is safe from the carbon cops.

    I’m not giving up my pvc yoga mat either … better that it rot in my closet than in some landfill somewhere. :)

  3. Jolly Green Girl Says:

    yeah, mines been relegated as a handstand next to my bed until the baby pops out. I start wheezing when I go for a leisurely walk so yoga is out of the question.

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About Environmental Talk

Environmental Talk is a blog that attempts to do the impossible . . . which is to have a reasoned and nuanced approach to the science and issues surrounding global warming. At the same time, we are not above taking the occasional potshot at the extremists and posers on both sides of the topic.

As a global warming agnostic, blogger/moderator Mark Jabo attempts to come down squarely on the side of finding humor in what is, too often, a needlessly contentious topic.

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