More Cow Bull
“I got global warming FE-ver . . . and the only prescription is . . .”
Good evening, ladies and Guernseys. A funny thing happened on the way to controlling greenhouse gasses. It turns out humans aren’t the biggest problem. As anyone who’s read Gary Larson knows, it’s the cows.
In urgent and responsible fashion, government officials in Europe are springing into action to protect the world from . . . cow farts. An official EU declaration “demands changes to animals’ diets, to capture gas emissions and recycle manure.”
The action is all part of the concern about global warming and was triggered in part by a 400-page U.N. report entitled Livestock’s Long Shadow,that states that cow “emissions” are more damaging to the planet than “cars, planes and all other forms of transport put together.”
It turns out that cow flatulence and manure emit more than one third of planet’s methane, a greenhouse gas which warms the world 20 times faster than carbon dioxide.
Our path is clear. We need a Kyoto Protocol to set the cow population back to pre-1990 levels.
I’m thinking a massive barbecue ought to do it. You know, one last party before we all burst into flames.
This should take some of the heat off SUV owners and put it squarely where it belongs - on all those smug milk drinkers.
P.S. - Glad to see the U.N. has gotten such a good handle on the whole world peace thing that they can take time to put out a 400 page report on cow manure.
“Hey, I thought you were supposed to be watching what was going on in Africa . . . “
global warming, climate change, methane, greenhouse gases, carbon dioxide, Gary Larson, Far Side, cows, more cowbell, SNL, Christopher Walken, Will Ferrell, UN
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