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Mommy, Make Them Stop

by Mark Jabo

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Garbage police….

Is it even possible anymore for people to have some sort of choice in life without some knucklehead calling for a law to force them into compliance with an opposing view?

The editorial page of any local newspaper has become my new favorite source for comedy. It’s way funnier the Family Circle or Peanuts comic strips.

Here’s an editorial from someone who wants to make the world a nicer place … by forcing you to recycle.

(January 25, 2008) — View recycling as your civic duty

Want to make our Earth a nicer place? Eliminate the bottle law and make it illegal to not recycle. Impose a fine on those who don’t recycle. I am an avid recycler, recycling all containers, papers, cereal boxes and everything that can be recycled. Recycling through trash service is the answer, not punishing businesses by making them carry the burden of people who don’t recycle. Should we all get paid a nickel every time we recycle our newspaper? Can you imagine if every company had the burden of paying for recycling? Where does this philosophy behind the bottle law end? Additionally, advertise about how important it is to recycle. Remember all the advertising that was done in the 1970s to not litter? Are we paid not to litter? I don’t think we should be paid to recycle.
LINDA RATLIFF
PITTSFORD

I think it’s great Linda is “an avid recycler.” I’ll admit it sounds a little funny to me to be “avid” about recycling, the same way other people are avid baseball fans. Do you keep stats on your recycling? Do you collect the autographs of your favorite recyclers?

Wait, don’t tell me, you love recycling so much you’re even in a fantasy recycling league at work. Now, every Monday I’m going to have to listen to how you had Coke bottles in last week’s recycling match-up but got beat out by the dude who went with Deer Park bottled water as his first pick.

It’s hard to believe everyone isn’t as excited about recycling as Linda. I distinctly remember society promising me if I slept through four years of college and got a degree, that would guarantee I wouldn’t have to sort through garbage to make money.

But now Linda wants to call the cops on anyone who doesn’t share her passion.

What do you suppose would happen if everyone wanted to criminalize behavior that didn’t fit with their passion?

What if you were an avid masturbator? Let’s run with that idea and suggest it would be a good idea to impose a fine on everyone who doesn’t get themselves off at least twice a day.

It may not stop global warming, but I guarantee you the world will be a nicer place ….

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3 Responses to “ Mommy, Make Them Stop

  1. Matt Hanson Says:

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you.

    Matt Hanson

  2. Mark Jabo Says:

    Thanks, Matt.

    Found a lot of good stuff on your site.

  3. Brick Says:

    Excellent use of linking ;)

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About Environmental Talk

Environmental Talk is a blog that attempts to do the impossible . . . which is to have a reasoned and nuanced approach to the science and issues surrounding global warming. At the same time, we are not above taking the occasional potshot at the extremists and posers on both sides of the topic.

As a global warming agnostic, blogger/moderator Mark Jabo attempts to come down squarely on the side of finding humor in what is, too often, a needlessly contentious topic.

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