Jumping to Conclusions
“Did you just …. ?”
As a humor writer, I so want to work for Greenpeace. The only thing better would be working on the set of Da Ali G Show.
As far as I can tell, both jobs require you to sit around all day and come up with as many hare-brained ideas as you can think of and then sit back and watch to see how many people you can get to buy into your crazy schemes.
In a recent announcement, Greenpeace said they would like people to cut down on the consumption of red meat and switch to eating kangaroo.
Crikey! That’ll take a bit o’ getting used to.
According to Greenpeace, eating more kangaroo will “help reduce land clearing and the release of methane gas from flatulent cattle and sheep.” It turns out that, just like your girlfriend, kangaroos never pass gas.
The recommendation to eat more of Australia’s national symbol was in a recent report commissioned by Greenpeace entitled: Paths to a Low-Carbon Future.
It could have been sub-titled, Paths to a Low-Kangaroo Future, since it’s estimated “roughly three million kangaroos are killed and harvested for meat each year.”
Kangaroos are ususally “shot with high-powered guns between the eyes at night.”
It’s not clear what Greenpeace has against kangaroos, but government reports note that Australia’s kangaroo population has been cut in half to about 25 million in the past five years.”
If we just step up the night hunting, we can probably get the marsupial population down close to zero over the next five years.
Maybe it’s none of my business, but if I were you … I would avoid dressing my child like Kanga or Roo this Halloween.
Endangered Halloween costumes.
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