Environmental Talk

Guess who’s coming to dinner?

If you’ve been a regular reader of this blog (and why wouldn’t you be?), you’ll know I haven’t always been a big fan of the United Nations.

Upon occasion, I’ve taken exception to the graft, corruption, fear-mongering and politicizing of science that characterizes this group of career bureaucrats.

Throw into the mix the fact that repressive dictatorships are given both political cover and a veneer of legitimacy, and you can see why I had a bit of a negative bias when it comes to much of what goes on in Dag Hammarskjold Plaza.

I’ve even taken a few potshots at both former Secretary General Kofi Annan as well as the current head of the U.N., Ban Ki-moon.

I’m here to tell you that I take it all back.

I don’t want to go into a whole long explanation of the reasons. Let’s just say a personal letter from a certain former Secretary General made me see the light.

I was very impressed with the sincere desire of the U.N. to apologize for past slights. Oh, and also their desire to give me a large sum of money - although due to one of the many typos in the letter, I’m not sure whether I’ll be getting five hundred thousand dollars or fifty million dollars.

In the end, it didn’t really matter. It’s the thought that counts. And the thought that Kofi Anan would personally take the time to write me a check really touched me.

The fact that he was willing to drop the second “n” in his last name just made me realize how truly sincere he was.

To be honest with you, it’s not about the money. I would have changed my mind for 250 grand.

This is all about doing the right thing.

I thought it would be nice to share the heartfelt (but not spell-checked) letter I received:

ZENITH BANK COMPENSATION UNIT, IN AFFILIATION WITH THE UNITED NATION. Send acopy of your response to official email: glomax20@yahoo.com

ATTN: Sir/Madam,

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family?,You may not understand why this mail came to you.

We have been having a meeting for the past 7 months which ended 2 days ago with the former secretary to the UNITED NATIONS.

This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$ 500,000,00 This includes every foriegn contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems etc.

We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this have been agreed upon and have been signed.

You are advised to contact Mr. Jim Ovia of ZENITH BANK NIGERIA PLC, as he is our representative in Nigeria, contact him immediately for your Cheque/ International Bank Draft of USD$ 500,000,00 This funds are in a Bank Draft for security purpose ok? so he will send it to you and you can clear it in any bank of your choice.

Therefore, you should send him your full Name and telephone number/your correct mailing address where you want him to send the Draft to you.

Conatct Mr. Jim Ovia immediately for your Cheque:

Person to Contact Mr. Jim Ovia
Email: glomax20@yahoo.com

Thanks and God bless you and your family.Hoping to hear from you as soon as you cash your Bank Draft.

Making the world a better place.

Regards,

Mr. Kofi Anan
Former Secretary (UNITED NATIONS).

The best part? The letter was e-mailed from kofianan250@hotmail.com, which means Kofi and I can now IM each other. He’s my new BFFL!

Just so you know it’s not all about fame and political clout, I’ll make this offer: Anyone who sends me a check for half a million dollars can be in my Top Five.

I’ve already sent my name and bank account number to Kofi but haven’t heard back from him. He must be busy with holiday plans.

Wait, … do they even celebrate Thanksgiving in Nigeria?