Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa Fashion
“Good news today as at least three models were safe despite being involved in an explosion at a plant where Muppets are made…”
In the pantheon of tales of people hit by the ravages of global warming, perhaps none is more tragic than the recent story coming out of Australia that climate change is wreaking havoc on … wait for it … wait for it … the fashion industry.
I think we can all agree that when climate change starts disrupting the lives of thin, beautiful, narcissistic millionaires - it’s time to take action.
If the story in The Age is any indication, the consequences of inaction are horrific.
As we speak (or blog), global warming “is forcing fashion houses to ditch traditional seasonal collections for transeasonal garments that may lead to a drastic overhaul of fashion show schedules and retail delivery dates.”
Yikes! Models may even be forced to allocate extra time to moisturizing, too. Oh, the humanity.
Predictably, there is no shortage of scam artists consultants willing to help out: “The Wall Street Journal reported last month that American retail giant Liz Claiborne Inc had enlisted a New York climatologist to speak .. on topics ranging from the types of fabrics they should be using to the timing of retail deliveries and seasonal markdowns.”
This kind of gig has got to be like hitting the Powerball lottery for a weatherman. Instead of explaining cumulo-nimbus clouds to a bunch chubby fourth-graders, Chad the Weather Dude gets to give a speech and answer questions from thin, gorgeous fashion models.
The Accu-Weather five-day forecast is for extended hotness, baby.
The article goes on to note that, “Other US fashion giants, including Target and Kohl’s, have also started using climate experts to plan their collections and schedule end-of-season sales.”
Wait a minute. Target is a fashion giant!? Should we look for polyester pant suits to be big again this year? Target is a fashion giant the same way Dora the Explorer is one of People Magazine’s 50 Sexiest Women.
The ironic thing is, in this instance, climate change could be good news for animals. With warmer weather, wool sweaters and mink coats may go the way of the polar bear, robin, whale, coral reef, … oh, hell, just pick your a species you think’s going to become extinct.
With the planet heating up, the fashion industry will be forced to feature more lingerie and swimsuit shows.
The upside of global warming…
Not to mention giving me an excuse to insert a gratuitous photo of a Victoria’s Secret model. God, I love this job.
global warming, climate change, Dora the Explorer, fashion model, Victoria’s Secret, David Bowie
October 12th, 2007 at 7:55 am
[...] acrylicstetson wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptInstead of explaining cumulo-nimbus clouds to a bunch chubby fourth-graders, Chad the Weather Dude gets to give a speech and answer questions from thin, gorgeous fashion models. The Accu-Weather five-day forecast is for extended hotness … [...]