Endangered Species
“Next time you see me comin’ … you’d better run …”
Okay, I’ll admit it. It was kind of hard for me to get excited about high tide being a little further up the beach 50 years from now. And (don’t tell anyone) it really didn’t bother me that a couple of polar bears might have to tread water for a little bit longer than they were used to before the next iceberg came along.
But my casual attitude toward climate change was before I read about the latest animal migration caused by global warming - vampire moths are invading Finland.
We have clearly passed the tipping point and need to do something about global warming when moths that “feast on human blood” start migrating toward Helsinki. It’s time to spring into action.
Portrait of an endangered species
No, really … I’m serious.
Finland is right next to Sweden and these two countries are responsible for 62% of the world’s blonde female population. If global warming is allowed to continue unchecked, and the calpe moth continues to migrate from Southeast Asia to Scandinavia, we could be facing a worldwide shortage of blondes in as little as 10 years.
The consequences are dire and could affect us all - we’d have to start telling redhead jokes and cheerleading squads would be decimated worldwide.
Names like Buffy, Amber and Bambi would become a thing of the past and could further worsen a pending global shortage of strippers and porn stars.
Our choice of action is clear. We need to come up with a plan to halt greenhouse gas emissions worldwide. More importantly, we need to start producing more blondes to help protect this fragile and endangered species.
If just one Swedish bikini team member a week would agree to sleep with me, we could go a long way toward solving the climate change crisis (as well as a couple other crises I can think of).
Or I guess we could just get a can of Raid and spray for moths . . .
global warming, climate change, vampire moths, Swedish bikini team, Finland, Sweden, blonde jokes, cheerleaders, strippers, porn stars,
June 8th, 2007 at 10:17 am
That was hysterical. Seriously.
June 8th, 2007 at 10:20 am
[...] Blondes In Danger of Extinction? Jump to Comments This post at Environmental Talk was so funny, it made me cry. Which I [...]
June 8th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Thanks, Kelly. Especially cool that the link is coming from someone whose own site is so much fun…
Check out Kelly over at http://www.lawmummy.com/
June 9th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
The situation is much more serious than I thought. The world leaders must be made aware of this new danger as the very fabric of our society is a risk!
Great article btw
June 12th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Xish you would, buddy!!!
Alex